Slight mental breakdown....

Hello my friends! So, today was an okay day until about 3:30pm and then there was a slight mental breakdown. It's mostly my fault, but that didn't stop me from calling my husband and yelling at him.

Let me preface by saying, I love my husband, I love my children, but I just don't think I'm cut out to be a stay-at-home mom. It's been wonderful to be home, but I can definitely tell that I am ready to go back to work. This has been my hardest maternity leave and I think there are a lot of factors; first, Hayden is still in diapers and running headlong into his "terrible twos." He's darling and so sweet, but if he's unhappy, he will let you know it. He always wants to do things himself, which generally involves a bigger mess and three times as long to complete a task than it would normally take; he definitely gets a little jealous of Jake and lately I have to watch really close because if I'm holding Jake to feed him or whatever and Hayden wants to sit with me, he will throw things (toys, cell phones, sippy cups) at Jake until I pick him up and hold him too. Jax is bigger, but wants a lot of attention too. He's also 5 going on 20 and thinks he can do whatever he wants, so sometimes we argue. Mostly he's a big help, but just like typical brothers they fight and just like a typical big brother, Jax LOVES to torment Hayden. Lastly, some of you may know, some of you may not but Kaitlyn is getting worse. She's on oxygen at night now and yesterday she had scans done and they've discovered a large mass pushing against the wall of her right lung which is very painful for her and makes it even harder for her to breathe. It's a lot going on and after being home all day, Shane gets home and it just seems like there's even more activity and noise and before I know it, it's midnight and I'm putting Jake down and we're going to bed and morning comes too fast and Shane leaves for work and I'm home by myself again. Luckily for me, Shane realizes that I need a break when he gets home so I usually have at least a half hour to myself that I can lock myself in our room or take a shower or go to the store or whatever. We talked about it a little more tonight and agreed that we need to do better about that so I'm going to find a class of some sort at Robert's to take once a week and then on Saturdays I'm going to take a swim class with Hayden for a few weeks.
Okay, long preface I know; longer than the story!

Story goes like this: Occasionally I'm naughty and leave my keys in the van. Usually just when I know I'm going to be back in the van shortly. Yesterday was one such a day, only I didn't leave again when I thought I would. So Shane ended up taking the van to run an errand last night and he took his keys. When he got home, he naturally locked the van......and by doing so locked my keys in.
I had decided today that after I picked Shannon up from school, I was going to go over to work and visit all my friends and introduce them to Baby Jake. I got all of us ready, put the baby in the carseat, made sure everybody had shoes on and shepherded them towards the door. With Baby in one hand, I started to look around for my keys......and they were no where to be found! Needless to say, I was manic, then realizing what had happened, I called Shane, yelled at him, made him call his mother to go pick up Shannon and then sat in the chair rocking Jake, quietly seething until Shane got home. By then, I had calmed down, we fixed dinner, talked and ate with the kids. Immediately following dinner I went to Lowes to have extra keys made!!

But the lesson learned (other than take your keys out of the car EVERY TIME) was, I am not SuperWoman, I am just a mom and occasionally I need a break and that's okay. The important part is to remember to take the breaks regularly so I don't have these slight mental breakdowns........

Goodnight my friends, and remember: no one is perfect, no one can do it all. Take care of yourself, because if you don't, how can you take care of anyone else??
Love you all!

Ramblings....

I know, still slacking on the blogging! I've been kinda busy and stuff! I took the boys (except Jake) to the zoo on Friday. We met my mom, Nichole, McKenna and Brodie, Marci, Austin and Jackson there and it was such a great time! Here are a couple of my fav pix from that day:


The giraffes are always my favorite and I couldn't resist snapping this shot.....

Me and the boys outside the entrance......

Our zoo crew! Well, except for me, but SOMEBODY'S gotta take the pictures!

It was a great day and I totally enjoyed it! I love the zoo and can't believe I don't take the kids up there more often....

Next project: sign Jax up for swim lessons and sign me and Hayden up for swim lessons.

My three sons

Feet big and small and I'll claim them all!

My three sons

Yup, still slacking on the blogging thing, but we'll give it a go today. It's kinda been a busy few days, at least since Saturday!

Saturday we had t-ball in the morning, took the boys for pictures in the afternoon and recovered that night. Sunday was Mother's Day and we went to Shane's mom's, then headed for Nephi so we could BBQ with the fam at Aunt Lori's and then hang out at Grandma Phyllis's for the rest of the afternoon. Monday after I took Jax to preschool I had to run to Provo to drop some stuff off at my doctor's office and then we went to Nephi to see my mom, since I hadn't seen her since she'd been home from her cruise. And then yesterday was Jax's kindergarten orientation and I had to go to the grocery store.

So today I'm just trying to catch up on everything! The laundry is overtaking my bedroom, I need to get Jake's birth announcements mailed and I need to organize some scrapbooking stuff for Jake. We've had a couple of all nighters this week. For some reason, Hayden's been eating stuff that doesn't agree with him and it most often doesn't agree with him at about the same time that Jake is up and wanting to eat. Luckily Jax sleeps like the DEAD so we don't have to contend with him and we can tag team the other two.

All in all, life is good; busy but good and strange. I love being home, but I miss work, but I want to be with my kids, but I crave the adult interaction I have at TOSH, but I want to volunteer for kindergarten, but I want to be back in the office with Bill and Chandra and the rest of the gang. Pretty topsy turvy, right? I guess for right now, I'll just take things a day at a time and we'll see what happens next.

Luvs to everyone!

Randomness on a Thursday night

Okay, so I've kinda slacked on the blogging for the last week! I've really been enjoying my maternity leave! But this is what's weird about it; generally speaking, isn't maternity leave for first, recovering and then bonding with your newborn until it's time to go back to work? I am bonding with Jakers, but really I'm bonding a lot more with Jax and Hayden. Hayden even more so than Jax! I was afraid I would be a crazy person trying to take care of all three of them, but I'm not that crazy! Sure, it gets kinda wild sometimes; like when Hayden is climbing on the kitchen counter trying to find fruit snacks and Jaxton is trying to sneak out the front door to go next door to Corbin's and Jake is crying for his bottle. But mostly we're having a great time!

Jax is playing t-ball again this spring and loving it!

His t-ball games are a scream! He has a really good coach who is incredibly patient with all the kids and they just have a lot of fun! Jax is always really eager and excited to play and every day he asks if it's a t-ball day.

My next plan is to enroll me and Hayden in Kearns Rec's Parent and Child swim class. Jax is already a little fishie in the water and I'll probably put him in swim lessons later on this summer, but Hayden doesn't quite know how to handle the water yet. I figure it's about time he got into fishie mode!

I have another goal for this summer, too. It occurred to me earlier this week while I was at a funeral. I know, weird, but that's how it happened. I don't care how often I have to go to Nephi or how long it takes, but by the end of the year I hope to have life histories done for my grandparents. I know it's morbid, but sometimes you've just got to plan ahead. And if any of you out there have pointers about the best way to go about this, I'm all ears!

Wish me luck :D